What Happened to East Texas Courtesy Online?

EAST TEXAS -- Lately, when I'm online, I find myself wondering... what on earth happened to civility? Not just everywhere on the internet, globally, or in a big city somewhere. I mean right here.

East Texas Has Long Been Known for Southern Hospitality

East Texas and the South in general have had a reputation for Southern hospitality. Granted, that doesn't mean everyone you talk to is sunshine and rainbows, but it does mean there was at least an underlying foundation of how we treat people here.

You wave at strangers. You hold the door. Maybe you ask about somebody's family before you get to the business reason you called. Around here, a lot of us claim a faith based on love, grace, forgiveness, and kindness.

So why do our comment sections feel like they exist in some parallel universe?

When Everyday Conversations Turn Ugly Online

I'm not even talking about controversial topics, like politics or religion. I'm talking about everyday stuff that doesn't seem like it would promote so much anger or disgust. For example... A new restaurant opens. Somebody's excited about it. Within minutes, people announce they'll never, ever eat there, start arguing about politics that weren't even mentioned, or take verbal shots at people they've never even met.

And, truth be told, if they HAD met in person, I bet many times they would NEVER have talked to them that way face-to-face. Sometimes it feels like we've forgotten there's an actual person on the other side of the screen.

To be clear, I don't believe this is just an East Texas problem. I think various things have led us here, and the internet is one of those. This isn't an argument for never being online; it's an argument that we need to make sure we're not letting our being online so much flatten our identities.

The Screen Makes It Easy to Forget the Person

The person at the keyboard isn't your neighbor anymore. They're not the lady who volunteers at church or the guy who coaches your kid's Little League. They're no longer the veteran, the teacher, or the cashier at the gas station where you stop for gas and beer on the way home.

Nope. They're just a profile photo with a comment. Flat. At least from the online perspective.

And I guess for some people, it's much easier to be rude to a profile picture than to a person.

Kindness Doesn't Require Agreement

Listen, being civil to one another isn't about agreeing all the time or pretending we support something we don't. It is about respecting the dignity of the other person by remembering that every off-hand hateful comment lands on someone's heart.

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It may hurt a small business owner who is taking a risk and doing their best to step out in faith. It may be someone's teenager reading your comment, or a fellow church member you'll see next Sunday.

Maybe It Starts With Us

Maybe the real test of someone's character isn't actually how polite and civil we are face-to-face when we want to be perceived as a "kind" person. Maybe it's how we choose to treat someone when there's a screen between us. 

I don't know. I just miss who we know we can be. Frankly, this isn't just about East Texas, as you well know. But we start where we are. And that's with you. And that's with me.

Add to the conversation, or start a new one, at tara.holley@townsquaremedia.com.

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