The other day I proudly announced that I have my first grey hair. Today I noticed that I kinda look like a young version of the old man from the movie Up.

1. I LOVE that movie

2. I can't wait to get old as all hell

Think about all the cool stuff you get to do when you're old. The part I'm really looking forward to is when everything you do is considered amazing. . . for your age. I'm just waiting for that one magical moment when some poor pitiful fool asks me "What's your secret". You know, Like when you see a couple married for 50+ years or an old man finish a marathon. I'm gonna get a really serious look on my face, pull them in all dramatic like, look side to side to make sure no one is listening, then look them dead in the eye and say, "I drink a cap of bleach EVERY.SINGLE.DAY." After that I'm going to become obsessed with the obituaries in the paper just like every other really old person, the only difference is they look to see if a friend passed away. I'll be looking to see if the idiot took my advice and drank a cap of bleach.